I’m able to deceive myself for about a week or two at a time. During that time I find myself to be able to function, create, live. After that, however, is the crash. It can happen for a variety of reasons: I had to pay my student loans, I saw a bill, Couldn’t afford food, etc.
The next reaction is twofold: isolation and desperation.
It’s the most dangerous combination I can think of. The isolation makes one tempted to grab onto anyone while the desperation makes one want to grab onto anything.