Memory

memory can be gone in a heartbeat. a small rupture, a violent crash, a blockage, etc. and boom – goodbye memory.

it’s an amazing thing, actually, considering how fragile it is to begin with and how fluid of a material it can be under the best of conditions.

my memories from 17 years ago seem more like dreams. could they have ever been real in the physical sense? i know that i am not the same person who experienced those things even though i now carry them around in me as well as their consequences.

and i notice more how my dreams of 17 years ago are still similar to the dreams of today.

but mostly i wonder about the future of all these memories and dreams.

i recently learned of a recording of my grandfather that was taken during a birthday party about 35 years ago. i was 2 and i have no memory of this. both him and my great-aunt both are dead.

but fast forward 35 years. people are dying (as they do) left and right and leaving behind odd traces of existance and memories that’ll persist as long as someone keeps paying the light bill.

facebook pages, flickr albums, etc.

but i’m digressing too much.

a recording isn’t a person-it’s just information organized in a manner that provokes a memory.

to hear the words of a recording spoken by someone with a different voice or to read the words as they were transcribed would bring no memories to me. without knowledge of the creator whether that knowledge comes from being told “this is so and so’s words” or “this is so and so’s audio frequency”, etc. i am unable to attach any more importance to the existence of this information than if it were a automatically generated by the latest nonsense AI.

this is nothing new or profound.

but i wonder if i’m being overly foolish to think that it’s still very important.

also, i need to figure out a way to get graphs and drawings on this here dev blog. #sigh