So much

of course this post never got written. smh.

Hospital

  • i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again - there’s comfort in the blinking cursor.

  • i fail to understand anyone who wishes to be a specialist. but, having said that, i completely understand why someone would become one.

  • if there’s something worth saying, i don’t know what it is or where you’d even bother saying it.

  • the best utterances are the absurd noises made during sleep.

  • i’m missing something but i’m not sure what it is.

Data Entry

so much of life is the entry of data into a system. input -> black box -> output

i wonder what some of the bizarre struggles are even for. is it just to punch at something and in doing so find the purpose that exists only in punching?

idealism is best reserved for chewing gum and horse races.

All Things

    warp stabilizer?
        what of it and
        who are you to me?
    
but forget all of that.
    there's a sale on
    at kohls
and we don't
want to miss out

    on something that might
    be cheap.

Nyan Cat Mode Thing

on a whim i enabled nyan-mode in emacs. in life it’s a tired old fad but still amusing to this hermit.

my computing life is now done in emacs. perhaps i’ll finally write that book?


regardless.



           -.%. ..                    -.m-.
            .-+--..                  -.m.%- .
         ..++*%*#%                  +-+-m%+ ..
         - %m####*..               .-m#####*
         . ###%%#*-        -        -.+*##+.
           -+-m.*++ .     . -.      .+-.mmm%
           .+*.+...                  . +..+
              -.           + .          ..
                           +  .
                             .        .
                           .        . .-
              .                  . -.-+-+.
                 -. ..   ...  -  .--%##m-
             .. *-   .-++m  .....-.-#m*-.
               - #*mm-%.-+.-m-- -m###-...
              . .mm#---+#***###%+##**.m.
                .  -..-*m..m.%+-%+-...-
                 ..  . -.-.+- .- -m.
                 .... -.+ - -.-.
                 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the ridiculous nature
    of blasting social media     -      on social media
releasing
        control over
     to gain freedom
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
++++++++++++++++instagram models+++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

summary

i can’t write about my art but i can write about my life.

i try and fail to define my practice, my life, my everything. goals and rules, for me, are things that get broken and ignored so why make a liar out of myself?

if i weren’t a failure i’m not sure what else i could be and i watch my work fail even more but hope that one day it won’t–that it will succeed in its vision of representing my life and soul.

it’s not fashionable nor friendly. i’m haunted by long periods of despair and silence and struggle with the idea that my work will live on after my death for reasons that escape me.

that it wasn’t all for nothing? maybe.

but to communicate to someone else that they’re not alone in their experiences. that someone has existed that felt similarly and to strengthen that bond with the living from beyond the grave–just as my body will serve to fuel millions of bacteria and future plants and life.

plainspeaking

stripping away every hindrance to work comes at a price. one must embrace plain-speaking. direct words and action that cut to the quick of matters.

honesty.

frankness.

representation.

everything else is a waste of time.

Stations Part 2

The bananas are dehydrating as we speak and the house is coming into order.

My work style is getting to be increasingly reductionist. Becoming something like this:

  • photography - adobe
  • video - adobe
  • writing - emacs
  • blogging - hugo
  • painting - studio
  • coding - emacs, pycharm, phpstorm, clion (needs to be reduced)

Media work remains in the proprietary world because of the tools that were developed for it being highly capable. Gimp is a great program but learning that and sticking with adobe for video, etc. makes flow uneasy since the commands, work flow, etc. are vastly different.

Next up is reducing and optimizing the glitch workspace as well as integrating note taking/computing into the studio so one doesn’t have to leave as often.


                                                      |
     -------                         -------          \
   -/       \-                     -/       \-         |
  /           \                   /           \        |
 /             \                 /             \       |
/               \               /               \      |
|     .-  -     |               |       .       |      |
|     ..+- -    |        .      |     .+-#-.    |      |
|    ...m+. .   |        .      |     .*-m..    |      |
\    -.#### .   /        ..     \   . -.##+..   /     /
 \  .-%##m+--. /          ..     \   ..###..   /     /
  \  ..+m-m-- /            ..     \  + %%%+-. /     / /
   -\   .-  /-              .      -\.--*m-+/-     /-/
     -++----                .        -%m-+*-      //
                            .                    //
                   ...     .                    //
                     ......        .           /
\                             . +..-.         /
                -..          -. + m  -      |/
  \            +- +.    ....+....##.-       /
   \ \     ..-+-m+ .+-    |.m|*%##++.      |
    \ \      # m**#-+%.mm+mm#mm###m-       /
    .\     .-.-+-%-*.##.*###%*  +m .      |
     .\     .---m*m#*#.*#-#m##+-. -       |
     ..       . -#+ +.%.m+*-.m m.        |
      .\  .    .  .%.- .-++.m.           /
      . \|               . ..           |
      .. \                              .
       .. \                        /....
        .. \              /----.....
         .  \     /-----.......---
         .   -..........-/
        ..
        

orgmode

after much procrastination i’ve finally decided to sit down and learn the emacs.

i find myself less and less interested in a computer with smooth graphics and eyecandy. maybe i’m becoming an old?

regardless, i write this now in Kate (update 6/15/18 - see below) as I’ve given up on Atom. I loved Atom but the lack terminal integration was a hindrance to the hugo workflow and in the previous post about stations you’ll understand that this makes sense.

of course, the markdown preview functions in Kate are severely lacking but, perhaps, i’ll write some sort of plugin for it. who knows? i’m crazy and unpredictable. see this rulebook? yeah, right out the mother flipping window.

in other news, my raspberry pi camera cable is shot to hell so that’s a hindrance that I wasn’t wanting but i’m moving on past that.

get action or get dying.


UPDATE

i’ve switched again. pretty much just use emacs now. good ol’ esoteric but wonderful emacs.

update

i’m still alive but my computer situation is now changed.