The Tired Toucan

Antonio Mcfadden


She was convalescent in a week's time, but was ultimately murdered, while in the act of spending, by a voluptuary with whom she afterwards lived.

C*** O***, you know his estate, his worth, and good sense: can you, will you pronounce it ill meant, at least of him, when anxious for his son's morals, with a view to form him to virtue, and inspire him with a fixed, a rational contempt for vice, he condescended to be his master of the ceremonies, and led him by the hand through the most noted bawdy-houses in town, where he took care he should be familiarized with all those scenes of debauchery, so fit to nauseate a good taste?

You Lie, reply'd my hopeful graceless Dear, I'll have you know, I'll never sin in fear, Besides for she of whom you think, Amiss, That sweet obliging Gentlewoman is A tender-hearted Bawd that ne'er made Whore, But ever us'd such as were broke before. Now finding her so bad at Seventeen, Thinks I by that time she has Thirty seen, She'll be a Whore in Grain; but by good hap, She dy'd within a year of Pox and Clap.

Behold, the following part shall come to you if the commencement pleases you.

What a pity I can't be at the Hall, but there's no baby there." Thus we parted with mutual endearments, as I thought it best to defer seeing Phoebe and her girls until another day, and will continue that part of my romance in another volume to be written very shortly.

She'as all the Tricks the Devil can infuse Into her Head; her Husband to abuse.

"Harder, flog my bottom harder," I exclaimed.

He said he could desire nothing better, and we lay for a considerable period thus pleasantly conjoined.

Frank and I made up a party to ride with them that forenoon, and we took care to let them have an opportunity for an explanation.

"My beauty," said Venus, "obtain'd the Gold Apple." "Mine A----s Kiss," says Juno, "you shall have a couple.

The Charming Bliss in Wedlock chiefly lies, A Single Life all Honest Men despise, What greater Comfort can on Earth be found, When two True Hearts are both together Crown'd.

C*** O***, you know his estate, his worth, and good sense: can you, will you pronounce it ill meant, at least of him, when anxious for his son's morals, with a view to form him to virtue, and inspire him with a fixed, a rational contempt for vice, he condescended to be his master of the ceremonies, and led him by the hand through the most noted bawdy-houses in town, where he took care he should be familiarized with all those scenes of debauchery, so fit to nauseate a good taste?

I could hardly believe it possible that the seemingly proud and haughty girl was the same panting, trembling creature who had so recently been in my arms.

You promise to get out, won't you?" "Yes, I'd see you, Percy, if I had to lose my place for it.

"Now none of that pray sir, you insulted me enough last time." "I could not help it, you're so lovely, it's your fault,--forgive me, and I won't do so any more,--here is a sovereign, take it, kiss me, and make it up." "I don't want your money," said she sulkily.

Suppose 'twas I, you thought, had drew my Pen On Virtue, see I fight for her agen; Wherefore, I hope my Foes will all excuse Th' Extravagance of a Repenting Muse; Pardon whate'er she has too boldly said, She only acted then in Masquerade; But now the Vizard's off, She's chang'd her Scene, And turns a Modest, Civil Girl agen; Let some admire the Fops whose Talent lie Inventing dull, insipid Blasphemy; I swear I cannot with those Terms dispence, Nor won't be Damn'd for the Repute of Sense; I cou'd be Bawdy much, and nick the Times, In what they dearly Love; damn'd Placket Rhimes; But that such Naus'ous Lines can reach no higher Than what the Cod-Piece or Buffoons inspire.

The Fifteenth Plague. Alas!

He has reposed the same confidence in me by telling me his, and some day I may perhaps give it to the reader.

Mamma dear, you are giving us a lesson in pleasure.

I then told her that as to the first objection she might set her mind perfectly at ease, for from what I had already seen of Sir Charles, his instrument I knew was so much larger than anything that had found its way into her and he would find so much difficulty in getting it in for the first time that he would never suspect any intruder had been before him, and that if, as she easily might, she insisted in the operation being performed in the dark, I could supply her with a contrivance by which a little red liquid might be applied so as to produce the natural appearance of an effusion of blood.

But if you'll Pardon me this very time, I'll for the future loath so vile a Crime. The Seventh Comfort. The Man o're-joy'd to hear such Words as these, From her, he hardly ever yet could please.

My touches became more and more exciting until I believe she was on the point of discharging when she suddenly awoke and found herself in my arms.

Nor never while I live, do so no more. With feigned Tears, and with a Judas Kiss; She said (My Dear) I own I have done amiss.

The eighth Comfort of Whoring, Answer'd. If any Man's in Love with any Whore, Why ought he not to lavish all his Store Upon her?

His curst Decoys to bring Destruction on, And make a Man despair when all is gone.

Ethel I found also (as soon as the paroxysm of spending had allayed my feelings a little, and I was allowed to look around) was sucking her father's prick, whilst he was frigging her.

By way of conclusion it will perhaps be interesting to relate the experiences of a young lady (none other than Minette) who paid a visit to this charming family in later days.

That will last until half-past two o'clock, then we shall sleep together thus until three o'clock, and at three o'clock thou wilt go to dress thyself in order to go out or to receive visits.

At the third time I shall suck thy breasts with such passion that thy eyes depicting a heavenly languor and a divine abandonment, thou wilt empty out upon me thy delirium-causing seminal fluid.

Virtus, repulsć nescia fortidć, Intimitatis fulget honoribus. Hor.

But, independent of my flattering myself that you have a juster opinion of my sense and sincerity, give me leave to represent to you, that such a supposition is even more injurious to Virtue than to me: since, consistently with candour and good nature, it san have no foundation but in the falsest of fears, that its pleasures cannot stand in comparison with those of Vice; but let truth dare to hold it up in its most alluring light: then mark, how spurious, how low of taste, how comparatively inferior its joys are to those which Virtue gives sanction to, and whose sentiments are not above making even a sauce for the senses, but a sauce of the highest relish; whilst Vices are the harpies that infect and foul the feast.