Log Files

2017-07-18-syslog

2017-07-18-kern

Woke up: 2 pop tarts and coffee. Possible sinus infection and/or heavy cold - hopped up on sinus meds. Out of body experience most of the day yielded new project/thoughts. Chakras be whack.

2017-07-18-faillog

time passes.

2017-07-16-syslog

2017-07-16-kern

Woke up late, 2 pop tarts and coffee. Off to a local festival - depressing with some joy. Birthday parties and another year of living. Night spent in writing and drawing.

2017-07-16-faillog

body

2017-07-15-syslog

2017-07-15-kern

Woke up - 2 pop tarts and some coffee. The usual…good ol’ usual. Spent day inside drawing and thinking. Some coding and planning for future projects. Mostly just sinus issues. It’s been quiet for the past weeks which is nice but makes for dull writing–not that consistently reporting about waking up and eating 2 pop tarts does. Regardless. Night spent inside as well. Thinking. lots of thinking. Action soon.

2017-07-15-faillog

everything repeats itself on a 2 mile track

2017-07-01-syslog

2017-07-01-kern

Woke up, 2 pop tarts and coffee. Mowed the lawn, shredded branches, general and miscellaneous yard work. Hair cut, shave, etc. clean cut. no more of this hobo business. i’ll save that for when i finally snap and wander about michigan avenue with a sandwich board explaining russian weather machines. Shopping, wandering, etc. normal people stuff. I’m normal.

2017-07-01-faillog

feels.

2017-06-27-syslog

2017-06-27-kern

Woke up, 2 pop tarts and coffee. The standard that almost never changes. Then work–coding coding coding. New project - automatic glitcher (details tk) New focus on work has developed. Eliminate all else. Excise distractions like cancer.

2017-06-27-faillog

learn to manipulate the failures.

2017-06-25-syslog

2017-06-25-kern

Woke up, 2 pop tarts and coffee. Mostly sick the whole day. Spent the time in solitude and research. Want to say that some plans or at least the idea of plans are coming to a close but who knows? Too much time spent watching 80’s commercials. That much I do know.

2017-06-25-faillog

nothing new to report.

2017-06-24-syslog

2017-06-24-kern

woke up - 2 pop tarts and coffee. sinus headache lasted all day. sold a bunch of stuff to make some money but the returns were sad. desperate times. might sell plasma? services have all been cut.

2017-06-24-faillog

sinuses.

2017-06-21-syslog

2017-06-21-kern

Woke up - 2 pop tarts and coffee. Work, work and more work. Went to Jewel got more coffee. Drinking some now as I code into the night. Something has changed.

2017-06-21-faillog

too busy to fail.

2017-06-19-syslog

2017-06-19-kern

Much silence. Woke up had 2 pop tarts and coffee. Got to work. New projects, energy. Maybe a more formal review later. Busy.

2017-06-19-faillog

NO FAIL!

2017-06-10-syslog

2017-06-10-kern

Woke up, usual. 2 pop tarts and coffee. Work then stores. Friday night isn’t what it used to be or, rather, what it never was. Home then nothing then some sleep.

2017-06-10-faillog

the absurd is killing me.

2017-06-04-syslog

2017-06-04-kern

woke up, 2 pop tarts, coffee. there’s something existential going on that i can’t quite put my finger on. i want to accomplish so much but the methods, process, etc. is somehow hindering me. as noted in the Dev Blog i believe the problem is technological but i digress. out my window just now a man just grabbed his crotch in a very long, disturbing manner. his wife? girlfriend? was distracted with their child at the moment.

2017-06-04-faillog

no fails. existential, wondererd about computing.

2017-05-28-syslog

2017-05-28-kern

Woke up, 2 pop tarts, coffee. Nothing happened today. I need to start painting again but what? No ideas. Overwhelmed with angst and purposelessness. Very little sleep over the past few days and still wide awake now. Insomnia is bringing me down.

2017-05-28-faillog

why am i not painting?

2017-05-25-syslog

2017-05-25-kern

Woke up, 2 pop tarts, coffee. Stayed in all day. Tried to plan some projects. Maybe some studio time later.

2017-05-25-faillog

silence.

2017-05-24-syslog

2017-05-24-kern

Woke up, 2 pop tarts, coffee. Went to work, did some coding and such, went home. Will fall asleep eventually.

2017-05-24-faillog

I hate my teeth.

2017-05-23-syslog

2017-05-23-kern

Woke up, back to pop tarts and coffee. Good ol’ hard routine. Went to doctor, talked with family. Mostly a nothing day. Blah, some good talk, etc. but nothing accomplished. More archiving when home, worked on site. Mentally fatigued, exhausted, etc. working on new ideas and/or projects. What about art? Can I make an image? Maybe a nude. Sigh.

2017-05-23-faillog

sorrow.

2017-05-21-syslog

2017-05-21-kern

Woke up waffles and coffee. Stupid pain from crown and sinuses–at some point I should have them looked at. Slept most the afternoon. Will watch Fast and Furious 6 tonight and maybe explore some youtube.

2017-05-21-faillog

Crown is painful.

2017-05-17-syslog

2017-05-17-kern

Woke up, toast and coffee. Visited with my Grandmother for the day, archived photos, etc. Day was mostly quiet and spent in hopeless nostalgia.

2017-05-17-faillog

sigh.

2017-05-16-syslog

2017 05 16 kern

Been a while. Nothing much to report as I was mostly in maintenance mode for the past week. Work was accomplished and the time passed but there’s nothing that stands out in my memory as being notable or even routine. I went to sleep on 5-10-2017 and woke up now. The specifics of the past six days are lost in the cloud of routine and banality. Today was toast and coffee, then dentist for crown, then more toast and coffee and coding.

2017-05-16-faillog

systems down for days. autopilot reigns supreme.

2017 05 10 syslog

2017 05 10 kern

Woke up, 2 slices toast and coffee. Went to the park then went to work. Past two days have been filled with data entry, cleaning, organizing. Can’t say if I believe in anything I’m doing at the moment as a passion or just an exercise. Total autopilot. Some coding. Even that is approaching meh territory as I get crippled by so much ridiculously useless code that exists in the world. Business code makes me want to cry because of it’s utilitarian meaninglessness.

2017 05 10 faillog

so much fail. this week’s schedule has been thrown down the drain.

2017-05-08-syslog

2017-05-08-kern

Woke up, had two pop tarts and coffee. Data cleaning, working on autobase and Project BiN. Hit the hassle portion of this marathon. I predict I’ll be there for a while. Hassleville is more like swamp than a proper village. Maybe like a sad, rundown delta swamp village? Regardless. Spent afternoon doing the same. Late night recording podcast.

2017-05-08-faillog

Sick, again. Lots of data entered, new sites being built. Crippling sense of why bother is haunting me.

2017-05-06-syslog

2017-05-06-kern

woke up and had pancakes and coffee. sinuses are killing me. spent the day working on new project. mostly trying to figure out how to make a buck so that i can live and pay off the crippling art school debt. had i to do it over again, in my desperation, i’d much rather have jumped into the lake that one day than have the burden of this insane debt. and for what?

2017-05-06-faillog

no fails only uncertainty

2017-05-05-syslog

2017-05-05-kern

Woke up, had 2 pop tarts and coffee. Off to work then data gathering/database planning. Spent evening playing games and writing.

2017-05-05-faillog

no fails except for my sinuses.

2017-05-04-syslog

2017-05-04-kern

Woke up, 2 pop tarts and coffee. Mowed lawn then off to work. Locked keys in car-stranded had to wait to get extra set-then home late. Headache, sinuses and existential angst. Brevity for the sake of boredom.

2017-05-04-faillog

discouraged and waylaid

2017-05-03-syslog

2017-05-03-kern

Past 3 days, woke up had the usual-pop tarts and coffee. Worked on finishing this weeks podcast, updates to project BiN and trying to unify my work flow in development. Not much to really report at the moment, still busy updating and planning out ways to streamline this process.

2017-05-03-faillog

missed past couple days of logging - fail.

2017-04-30-syslog

2017-04-30-kern

Woke up late with massive sinus headache. Ate oatmeal and coffee. Spent most of the day recovering, did some coding. Night spent writing a bit and starting work on another pastel.

2017-04-30-faillog

sinus headache, exhaustion.

2017-04-29-syslog

2017-04-29-kern

Woke up and had the unusual toasted oat bran and usual coffee. Spent the rest of the day deep in code as I explored new systems and ways to work on a long put off project. Reached point of exhaustion and uncertainty. Hate all of these feelings but still pressing on. huzzah.

2017-04-29-faillog

great uncertainty about next project.

2017-04-28-syslog

2017-04-28-kern

Woke up, no pop tarts, ate apple jacks instead. started coding early and coded through the day. Went to bookstore and went back to coding afterwards.

2017-04-28-faillog

work. that is all.

2017-04-27-syslog

2017-04-27-kern

After last nights art making, woke up after 3 hours of sleep and had usual 2 pop tarts and coffee. Am now out of pop tarts so I must go to the store tomorrow. Fiddled with code all day. Mostly while wondering what I’m doing with my life and/or fighting back feelings of complete uselessness. In short, a depressing day. Out of sleep medicine so I’ll probably spend the rest of the night either writing or working on photos, etc.

2017-04-27-faillog

morose. barely left the house.

2017-04-26-kern

Woke up, ate the usual (2 pop tarts and coffee). Got started early, drove to Aurora and photographed houses, etc. for project and/ future paintings. At work worked on code for monthly reporting integration into the new system. Then home - spent about an hour outside - then refactored site code, moved images to CDN and started working on my pastel series again. Spent time diagnosing performance hit on Windows 10 computer after “creators update”.

2017-04-26-faillog

highly productive day.

2017-04-25-kern

Woke up, ate the usual 2 pop tarts and coffee. Went to doctors - declared a fine physical specimen. Then lunch and off to work. Finished coding microservice for value reporting. Evaluated cdn options and ran preliminary tests for new project. Spent the rest of the evening outside and later finished refactoring old code from generative projects, website, etc. Overall malaise was felt all day so that kept the mood subdued in terms of overall events.

2017-04-25-faillog

general malaise of an existential kind. lots accomplished though.

2017-04-24-kern

Woke up and had the usual (2 pop tarts and coffee) and went off to work - began some new projects with the reporting software. Spent time researching Project BiN and made good progress. Recorded podcast with Justin and got it edited and uploaded. Mostly all of today has been steady in its work with little time for thoughts and reflections. As such, nothing much to report other than progress was made.

2017-04-24-faillog

smooth sailing today.

2017-04-23-syslog

2017-04-23-kern

Woke up, usual breakfast of two pop tarts and coffee. Went to church and had lunch at Colonial (bacon and eggs). Locked keys in car, needed to be rescued. Waited in church parking lot for an hour. Got home in afternoon and decided to check out the Joliet Public Library. It’s nice but terribly out of date. Antiquated microfilm machines and only one semi-modern film scanner that was running on a crippled PC.

2017-04-23-faillog

misunderstandings–language and the mind are not the best of bedfellows.

2017-04-22-syslog

2017-04-22-kern

Woke up late due to massive sinus headache. Ate raisin toast and had coffee. Stayed quiet for most of the day because of sinuses/headache. Afternoon at the library doing research and then home to process some scans and make pdfs for Project BiN. Frozen pizza for supper. Finished working on A Digital Scream and started to relicense my work under a copyleft fashioned license via Creative Commons. Didn’t manage any writing on youtube today.

2017-04-22-faillog

Sinus headache all day. Fairly productive but the sinuses kept me from focusing on too much writing/studio work.

2017-04-21-faillog

today was a success. projects planned and begun. progress made.

2017-04-21-kern

Woke up and had the usual (2 pop tarts and coffee - Hills Brothers Dark Satin). Left early to go to the library and begin Project BiN. Made good progress but still figuring out how to streamline the works. Lunch was another 2 pop tarts. Probably should eat better in the future but currently trying to save time/money and my food consumption is currently averaging < $3 bucks a day.

2017-04-21-syslog

2017-04-20-syslog

2017-04-20-kern

Woke up and had the usual (two pop tarts and coffee). Then cleaned up the studio and got organized for work to begin on a couple more drawings/paintings. Fought general angst and feelings of uselessness for better part of the day. Lunch at Wendy’s. Afternoon visiting with my Grandma. Too much angst combined with politics talk left me more desolate than before. Left early to get home and try to shake off hopelessness.

2017-04-20-faillog

woke up in the wrong place and time. general feelings of sorrow mixed with boredom and apathy. didn’t do the daily bing rewards activity–no progress made.

2017-04-19-syslog

2017-04-19-kern

Had pop tarts(generic walmart brand) and coffee(hills brothers dark satin) for breakfast. Made perfunctory searches on Bing to get rewards points – now 3⁄5 of the way to a five dollar Amazon gift card. Estimated time left til reward ~ 6 days. Planned out new project for website but didn’t accomplish much – mind kept wandering. Went to the Aurora Public Library–renewed library card and started research on Paul Egan. Lunch was more pop tarts(generic Walmart brand) on the drive to work.

2017-04-19-faillog

Nothing accomplished - fought desperation most of the day.